5 reasons why every parent and child need to stop everything and watch ‘Meri Guriya’

Our local drama industry has been producing hits after hits. Thankfully, now we are not just producing entertaining content but also emphasising on content that educates the masses. We weren’t even done applauding the recently concluded Khaani, when we were graced with another amazing drama called Meri Guriya.

The serial brings to light one of the darkest and less-talked about realities of our society: child sexual abuse, rape and murder. Though not the first of its kind, Meri Guriya is inspired by a real story and realistically portrays the aftermath of such a horrendous crime.

Brilliantly scripted by Radain Shah and well directed by Ali Hassan, this depressing story is about a slum locality called Mirza Pur, where so far 12 young girls have been raped and the actual predator still roams around freely, despite police claiming to have caught several rapists. The latest victim is an eight-year old girl Abida, who is the youngest child of Shahmeer (Sajid Hassan) and Shehnaz (Sania Saeed).

Shehnaz belongs to a lower-middle class family and is fighting hard to educate her three daughters, despite the rigid and conservative people she is surrounded by. On the other side of the story are Dabeer (Mohsin Abbas Haider) and Safeena (Sonya Hussyn), who reside in the same area and have just got hitched. Safeena supports Shehnaz in her fight to break the stereotypes surrounding educating girls and holds the same views as her. Her husband Dabeer owns a small grocery and game shop in the locality and acts very different from normal men. As the story progresses, we discover that Dabeer, who acts very quiet and reserved in front of people, has a monstrous side to his personality and turns out to be the real rapist.

While all the actors have given their best, Haider has done an extraordinary job. The versatile actor has played Dabeer so realistically that we can’t help but cringe at his appearance and hate him from the core of our hearts. Nobody could have essayed the role as brilliantly as him. He is an actual power-house of talent.

Below, I list down a few extremely vital reasons why everyone should watch this drama and even make their children watch it:

1. Society’s crystal clear picture

The eye-opening drama realistically portrays how we as a society deal with rape and sexual abuse. We do not bother much if somebody else’s daughter has become a victim of such a horrific crime. We take it as usual news. Even people of the area where the crime has taken place, do not care much until it is their own daughter who is the victim.

Most people only care about the food that they will get to eat at the funeral. It is absolutely shameful that we have become so insensitive to news that should shake our souls instead.

Woh log teesri galli mein rehtay hai, hum kyun apne gaanay band karay?” 

(Those people live three streets from here, why should we turn off our music for them?)

This dialogue from the drama, which was a reaction to the news of a child being raped in the locality, sums up our society’s attitude.

2. Blaming the abused rather than the abuser

The drama highlights how in our society we tend to scrutinise a woman’s behaviour. People, especially in conservative societies, always jump the gun whenever a girl does something that is unacceptable to them and blame the mother who “dared” to educate her child. Hence, they discourage education and state that this will only give the girl too much freedom.

Shehnaz, who is struggling to get her girls educated, is constantly demotivated by her mother-in-law who even dares to say:

Jo maaein apne betiyon ko pairon pe khara karti hain, unn hi ki betiyan milti hai khaiton se.”

(Those mothers who try to turn their daughters into independent women, eventually discover their bodies from the fields.)

Hence, whenever such a case happens, we blame the abused while the abuser hunts for his next victim.

3. Educate children to protect themselves

The drama sends a clear message to its audience about teaching your kids how to deal with strangers and protect themselves. Shehnaz has clearly taught her three daughters not to let any stranger touch their bodies and not to accompany anyone anywhere other than their father or someone from the family.

We need to clearly explain all this to our children, putting aside all the shame, so that they can protect themselves from these monsters who are lurking around with innocent faces. We need to empower our kids with enough confidence so that they can come to us and discuss anything.

4. Psychology of child molesters

Meri Guriya will show us how a person who looks normal from the outside and seems trustworthy, has turned into a child molester over the years. Ten episodes down, we have already been given hints of Dabeer’s disturbed past. Safeena found a few dolls in Dabeer’s locked cupboard and came to know from her sister that Dabeer loved playing with dolls in his childhood and was beaten by his mother over such a petty thing.

This gives us insight into Dabeer’s childhood which adversely impacted his psychology and tries to explain why he does what he does. We are hoping that the director will definitely tell us more about this in upcoming episodes.

5. The loopholes

This brutally heart-wrenching story pinpoints all the loopholes in our system which allow these predators to thrive. The negligence of law-enforcing agencies, the irresponsible attitude of the media, victims’ families not taking a stand, the fear of being ‘badnaam’ (dishonoured) in the society, and above all, how the hypocritical standards of society all contribute towards giving the abuser a leeway to commit such acts.

It is because of these routes of escape that the culprits manage to dodge us and remain undercover while being amongst us. The problem will never be solved unless we develop the courage to dodge these loopholes and nip the evil in the bud once and for all.

Broadcasting this moving story is a huge step and is the right way to educate the masses of this cruel reality. The positive feedback and ratings that the drama is garnering shows that we as a society have matured and are ready to open up to topics that we could not even think about discussing before. It is indeed a great achievement, not just for the makers but also for us viewers. We know that Dabeer will be brought to justice as this is what the drama is all about but we wish the same for the real predators that are still lurking in our society.

The post originally appeared on Express Tribune Blogs

HERE ARE 8 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH DRAMA SERIAL ‘NIBAH’

One of the top-rated serials Nibah aired on ARY Digital came to a meaningful end last month challenging some of the wrongful perceptions still prevalent in our society. Directed by Aabis Raza, this emotional family saga was based on the realistic effects and consequences of the death of a parent on children particularly teenagers and also the death of an age-long spouse on his better half.  Nibaah also highlighted the role of a stepmother as a positive influence, breaking the stereotype of ‘evil and cruel’ stepmother figure that is still prevalent in our society.

Brilliantly scripted by Radain Shah, the drama featured some of the big wigs of TV including Aaminah Sheikh, Asif Raza Mir, and Sawera Batool. Among other cast members were Abdul Ahad Khan, Anzela Abbasi, Aamir Qureshi and Sundas Tariq.

The story is about a middle-aged man, Shaheer (Asif Raza Mir) who loses his wife Saiqa (Sawera Batool) to fatal disease of cancer. He remarries a divorcee Sofia (Aaminah Sheikh) to fulfill the pledge he had made with his first wife while she was on her deathbed. The only reason behind his second marriage was that he wanted a mother for his three kids: Fanny, Saira, and Mubashir. Mubashir and Saira were teenagers while Fanny was a 5-year old.

While Fanny accepted Sofia as her new mom, Saira and Mubashir gave her a very hard time as usual step kids do. Coincidentally, Sofia was also Mubashir’s teacher in school. Shaheer kept Sofia at a distant position in the first few days of their marriage but later started admiring her. Mubashir thought that his father has forgotten his mother and has given her place to Sofia, hence, he started developing bad feelings for his father’s new wife which later turned into severe enmity. In his continuous efforts to malign Sofia and Shaheer’s relationship, he plots against Sofia to create a conflict between them.

After he succeeds in his first attempt of creating misunderstanding between the newly-wed couple, Mubashir further complicates the relationship between the duo by imposing false accusations on Sofia and creating a bad image of hers in Shaheer’s mind. Sofia understands the psychology of Mubashhir that he was not bad in himself but was just extremely affected by her mother’s sudden death. Hence, she did not reciprocate his negativity towards her by evil moves. Rather, she remained positive throughout despite facing severe hurdles until all lies were revealed and all mysteries got solved.

Undoubtedly, Aaminah Sheikh, as always, stole the show in every episode by essaying an exemplary daughter, sister, second wife, and step-mother. Her on-point acting combined with excellent dialogue delivery kept the viewers motivated to watch the not-so-extra-ordinary soup. Though Nibaah had nothing new to offer, yet it managed to send some strong messages to it viewers via its strong script based on powerful dialogues.

Here are a few lessons we have got to learn from the drama serial.

1. Kids are ‘not right’ always

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It is a common perception in our society that kids are always right and whatever they are saying is true. Nibaah challenges this wrong perception and illustrates the fact that children can also tell lies and create misunderstandings between elders.

2. A divorced woman is not always behind money and luxuries

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If a divorced woman marries a wealthy man, she is not always interested in the luxuries he is offering her as perceived in our society. She can be in genuine love with her second husband and his kids, in case he has any.

3۔ It challenges the cliché image of the step-motherly figure

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Stepmothers are not always evil and oppressive. They can be caring and understanding and can have a positive influence on their step kids. They do not always intend to throw their step kids out of their father’s house.

4۔ Don’t give up on what you wish to do due to societal pressure

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Women should make their own decisions when their spouse and family is considered. They should not give up on their own decisions due to family and society’s pressure. It might create hurdles for them initially but will reap sweet fruit later on.

5۔ Avoid taking decisions in haste

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Decisions about separation should not be taken in haste or while angry. Such decisions ought to be taken after thinking about all aspects of the circumstances. Sometimes, hasty decisions lead to regret and nothing else.

6۔ A woman should not compromise on her dignity at any cost

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Self-respect should always remain a women’s priority. She should not accept any wrong blame imposed on her even if she is being enforced to do so. Her dignity should remain her asset at all times.

7۔ Nobody is a born ‘evil’

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If somebody is acting evil, it does not mean that he is evil in himself. It might be that he/she has gone through some tragedy that has had severe adverse effects on their personality. Time and positivity heals all wounds and can transform a person’s negativity into optimism.

8. Loving your second wife is not a crime

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If a man has tied the knot for the second time after the death of his first wife, loving the second one is not a crime. It does not mean that you have forgotten your deceased wife. Moreover, your second wife can also possess genuine feelings for you like your first wife.

We definitely need more dramas like Nibaah to bring a revolution in the deep-rooted cultural stereotypes and perceptions that still persists in our society and are, time and again, responsible for ruining relationships and their essence. Trust me Nibaah is worth a watch, if not for anything else, then for our very own versatile actress Aaminah Sheikh.

9 new Pakistani dramas that are a must-watch

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Our local drama industry is doing wonders this year, giving us a lot of content to choose from. From romance to societal issues to stereotypes to traditions and customs, our dramas are churning out almost all genres, leaving us in a difficult situation of what to watch and what to skip amidst the wide variety.

Almost all our local plays are based on great topics but some of them are quite extraordinary and gain more viewership and ultimately higher ratings. Here we are listing down nine drama serials that we are currently watching and we feel that they have an edge over others.

Ru Baru Ishq Tha

Starring Danish Taimoor (Almeer), Ushna Shah (Salwa) and Sanam Chaudhry (Ayaan) in lead roles, the play is based on a love triangle between the three actors. Three episodes down, it has become more exciting. Ayaan, a tom-boy sort of girl, is best friends with Almeer and Salwa. She loves Almeer and expects the same feelings from him. As the story progresses, she finds out that she was kept in dark by Almeer and Salwa who are both secretly in love with each other. What follows is heartbreak and pain. Will Ayaan take revenge? Will there be a sudden twist in the plot? To find this out, next episode is a must watch for us.

Babban Khala Ki Betiyan

This emotional ARY digital play has garnered a lot of attention. Veteran actors Qavi Khan and Zaheen Tahira essay middle-class parents of four daughters. Their daughters have hundreds of dreams and marriage tops them all. It is based on a typical story-line, where visitors who have apparently brought marriage proposal for the eldest sister divert their attention to one of the other three sisters who are younger in age. Directed by Atif Hussain, the play seems to address stereotypes surrounding a girl’s marriage, that are still prevalent in our society unfortunately.

Ghamand

Sadia Jabbar Production brings on-board versatile actors Sunita Marshall and Noman Ijaz in Ghamand. We loved the duo’s crackling chemistry in Mera Saeen and we feel that the actors are delivering even better in the newly-released play. Brilliantly scripted by Saira Raza, the concept behind the play is that money cannot buy you lasting happiness. The story depicts how on the basis of wealth, Sunita’s character believes she can buy anything and how she ends up ruining all her relationships.

Main Khayal Hoon Kisi Aur Ka

The soft-romantic play pairs up Parchi actors Hareem Farooq (Dania) and Ali Rehman Khan (Zaryab) alongside Alamdar Hussain (Armaan). The drama is heading forward on fast pace. Armaan has divorced Daania on finding out that she is the same girl who had ditched his step brother, Zaryaab. Daania does not want Armaan to leave him and is begging him not to give her final divorce papers as she does not want to go back to Zaryaab. In a twist of fate, Dania discovers that the divorce is not final. Will Armaan re-unite Zaryaab and Daania? Who will Daania choose? Well, the upcoming episode will tell it all! So tune into HUM TV on Saturday to watch the next episode.

Ek Larki Am Si

Ek Larki Am Si is an emotional story based on the life of an orphan girl Anmol, who despite being deprived, is determined to achieve her dreams in life. The drama is a roller coaster ride of the challenges and obstacles Anmol comes across in achieving her ultimate dreams. It airs every Friday at 8 pm on Hum TV.

Meri Guriya

Need a play that grabs your soul and pulls at your heart, the Mohsin Abbas Haider, Sania Saeed and Sonya Hussyn starrer is a soul shaker. Based on the issues of child abuse, rape and killings of young children, Meri Guriya is a drama laced with some brilliant performances.

Meray Khudaya

Starring Shahood Alvi and Saboor Ali, Meray Khudaya highlights basic norms of sexual abuse in our society. It is a story of an innocent girl Mehak, played by Saboor whose life gets ruined due to the selfishness of her own van mate and friend Aleena. Aleena becomes a target of sexual abuse by their van driver, who was aware of her affair and blackmailed her. When things open up she blames it all on Mehak. Mehak’s world comes crashing down when she is hitched to an elderly man due to the false allegations imposed on her.

Main Har Nahi Mano Gi

Brilliantly scripted by Sara Majeed, the play features budding actor Anzela Abbasi in titular role. This drama is another effort by MD Productions to promote the concept of women empowerment in the society. It is based on the story of a girl who is reluctant to give up on her rights and fights against the society. Anzela has played her character realistically and we are just loving it. After all, this is the kind of dramas our society really needs a heavy dose of.

Koi Chand Rakh

Last but definitely not the least, this drama is absolutely fantastic. Based on a tale of misunderstanding, love and revenge, Koi Chand Rakh is a brilliant drama featuring Imran Abbas, Ayeza Khan, Muneeb Butt and Areeba Habib in the lead. Siraj ul Haq’s direction and the Maha Malik’s story makes Koi Chand Rakh an amazing watch on ARY Digital.

The post originally appeared on Hip in Pakistan

5 Upcoming Pakistani dramas that seem to up our local production game

d1Due to the extra ordinary skills of our writers, actors and directors, our TV dramas have gained immense popularity across the world. Of recent, our television industry has come up with dramas on some truly hard-hitting topics with the likes of Udaari, Baaghi, Aisa Hai Tanhai, Sammi and Nibaah.

Well, this is just the beginning because for us sky is the limit. Our drama production game is going all strong since we are coming up with content on more challenging topics. Promos of a few upcoming dramas have already been aired, leaving us all in sheer curiosity while for others we got in touch with the actors to know the initial details. Here’s a list of five upcoming dramas that we are eagerly waiting to watch

Alif

Predicted to be the mega serial of the year, Alif brings on board star-studded cast with the likes of Sajal Aly, Kubra Khan, Noman Ejaz and Hamza Ali Abbasi. Directed by Haseeb Hassan of Mann Mayal fame and written by Umera Ahmed, Alif relates to the first letter in the name of Allah. Shot in Turkey and Pakistan, initial details reveal the drama is definitely going to be very gripping.

Aangan

After Yaqeen Ka Safar success, Ahad Raza Mir and Sajal Aly have paired up once again for Aangan, which already has a star cast including Ahsan Khan and Mawra Hocane. So much of star galore in one TV serial definitely makes it worth-watching. Directed by Syed Ehtashamuddin under the banner of MD Production, Aangan’s intense storyline is based on the revolution that women went through in pre-partition days. We already have this eye-opening saga on our to-watch list.

Koi Chaand Rakh Meri Shaam Par

The-soon-to-be-aired serial brings together the two most adorable and charming stars of the industry: Ayeza Khan & Imran Abbas. The intense teasers of the drama have given us high hopes about the story line. Scripted by Maha Malik, the emotional saga seems to revolve around the sorrows in Ayeza’s life due to Imran’s character. Well, we can’t say anything with surety until the drama is aired.

Maryam Parera

The versatile Ahsan Khan is back to small screen after a small hiatus with Maryam Parera, alongside Khuda Aur Muhabbat famed Saadia Khan. Although not much has been revealed about the storyline as yet, Saadia Khan shared with HIP, that this not-so-typical saga will explore the plight of Christian community in Pakistan. Saadia plays a Christian college teacher who stands up for the rights of her community while Ahsan plays her colleague who falls in love with her. Ahsan has always stunned us with his exceptional acting skills and we feel the same for Maryam Parera.

Lamhe

After Parwaaz Hai Junoon, Shaz Khan will feature on small screen in upcoming HUM TV drama Lamhe in a titular role with the talented Zara Noor Abbas. Shaz essays a westerner who has returned to Pakistan after a long period and has to confront his eastern identity while Zara plays the caretaker of Shaz’s house. Will Shaz fall in love with Zara? Will it be another run-of-the-mill love story? Even if it’s going to be one, who doesn’t like watching love stories.

The post originally appeared on Hip in Pakistan

‘Aangan’ leaves behind major life lessons for its viewers

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Finally! the much hyped and top rated drama serial Aangan came to an end this week, on a sad note, giving us major life lessons to learn from. Brilliantly scripted by Faiza Iftikhar and well-directed by Qasim Ali Mureed, Aangan’s storyline depicted the true essence of traditional joint families in Pakistan.

The drama featured some big wigs of the drama industry like Samina Ahmed and Qavi Khan who played the heads of the family as Daada Ji and Daadi jee. Among other cast members were Iffat Umer, Irsa Ghazal, Hassan Ahmed, Paras Badar, Mansha Pasha, Uzma Hassan and Waseem Abbas. Each episode was a balanced amalgamation of humour, suspense and emotions and kept us wanting more.

In the end, two of the six siblings (Anila and Shafeeq) demanded their share in the property of their parents and accused their elder brother Sajjad for seizing their rights on the family’s property. Sajjad, who always wanted to keep the family united, could not bear such false and weighty accusation that was imposed on him and finally decided to divide the property among all siblings. The decades-old house and factory owned by the family was sold in order to divide the assets. In the meanwhile, Sajjad was extremely depressed and tensed because he never wanted the family to be  divided but could not express his desire openly. The stress took a toll on his life and he passed away due to heart attack.

His unprecedented death left everyone shocked and that’s when the siblings demanding division of the assets, realized the blunder they had committed in their greed and love for material wealth. Though it was too late by then, still better late than never, Both of them apologized for their mistake and gave up on their right to property. It is when they lost their brother that they realized his importance and his valuable efforts in keeping all members of the family together.

Why is that we value people after they are dead? Aangan teaches us that we must value people in their lives and not after they die. Usually, in our society, we do not regard the efforts of a person while he is doing them. It is after we lose that person, that we realize his/her worth. Aangan teaches us to value and revere those who leave no stone unturned in keeping families united.

Valuing relationships over material is another lesson that the family saga teaches us. These days most of the humans have become materialistic. They are ready to give up even on close relationships for materialistic valuables. Brothers and sisters turn into foes when it comes to money. Aangan highlights the growing trend of materialism in our society and how it ruins the fine thread of relations.

Mainstream television possess the power to convey social messages to a wide audience and change their thoughts and perceptions. No doubt, Aangan was a great and rare production on the end of drama industry and has definitely sent powerful messages to its viewers via humour and emotions.

The ratings and feedback received by this family drama depict that Pakistani audiences are looking forward to such productions in future as well.

This article originally appeared on Andaz Daily

“Like father, like son”: Are you hitting, scolding your kids because they are turning into you?

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Recently, my friend narrated a story to me which shook me to the core and instigated me to write this blog. A week ago, she witnessed a close relative of hers scolding and hitting his 10-year-old nephew over the fact that the child had started using abusive words in his day-to-day conversations.

She added that the outrageous part of the scene was that the man is a habitual user of abusive words himself and was also reiterating offensive phrases while scolding the child over doing so. This is where it hit me yet again, how messed up we are as a society!

Such is the level of hypocrisy in our society where the elders, not only expect from, but also direct the youngsters to stay pure and away from all sins and bad habits. On the other hand, they themselves are not willing to give up any wrongdoings or adjust their behaviour just because they, being older in age, are entitled to do everything, while for kids there is good and bad, black and white, right and wrong, evil and virtuous and so on.

I can narrate countless examples where elders order children to perform actions they themselves are reluctant to do. Many a times, I come across parents who command their children to offer their prayers on time but when there is a call for prayers from the mosque, the same parents are either busy watching television or engaged in some other activity.

Parents who are habitual liars are observed teaching their children to stay away from lying and warning them of the intensity of the sin, and the list of such instances go on and on. The awful part in all such scenarios is that such elders and parents have no realisation of the following basic universal truth: actions speak louder than words!

According to Developmental Psychology, the day-to-day behaviour of parents shape the way their children will act for the rest of their lives. This is called influence of parent socialisation in psychological terminology. In simple words, parents are the direct teachers of their children who are dependent on the former for knowledge that is necessary for survival. Parents also influence their children unintentionally through their daily actions. Moreover, children imitate the actions of those around them, especially adults. So the ultimate thing for parents is to behave in a way they would want their child to mirror.

Various researches and studies have been conducted in the field of psychology on the effects of parents’ actions on their children. Most of them indicate that children are like sponges – they absorb everything and replicate almost every action performed by elders around them, incorporating it into their lives. Hence, it is imperative for parents to set the right examples for their children because all their actions are being modelled by them.

The quagmire of our society is that every parent wants his child to be the best but is not ready to correct his or her own actions. Most brown parents believe that they can control their child through scolding, blackmailing or hitting him or her but that’s the temporary solution. In order to make their children adopt good habits for the rest of their lives, parents need to keep track of their own actions and its impacts on their children.

If a man has been smoking for his entire life, he cannot expect his child not to reciprocate the action. A mother who is in the habit of lying on and off cannot expect her kids to stay honest with her. An aggressive father cannot stop his children from being aggressive by merely warning them of the cons of aggression.

Renowned American Novelist James Baldwin says,

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

Coming back to the story, I mentioned in the beginning, the man who wants to stop his nephew from using abusive words, should do so himself in the first place because there will come a time when his nephew will point fingers at him and tell him on his face that he has adopted this habit from his elders.

The fault lies in the fact that we expect our kids to be lily white, despite us being entirely black. Hence, we need to start concentrating on how we act and behave around our children and make them witness ideal behaviour rather than teaching it to them. This golden quote in Urdu sums up my blog too well:

Aap ke chotay aap ke naqsh-e-qadam par chalain gay, aap ki nasihat par nai kyunke amal ka asar ziada gehra huta hai.

(Your offspring will follow your footsteps, not your advice because actions have a deeper impact than words)

This blog was originally published on Express Tribune Blogs

Meri Nanhi Pari: An emotional saga of a child suffering from Thalassemia

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After a span of 21 episode, drama serial Meri Nanhi Pari, aired on ARY digital ended on a happy note.

Directed by Ali Faizan and Kashid Ahmed, the story of this heartening drama was based on the never-ending plight of children suffering from Thalassemia and their parents. The plot revolved around Shiza (Aisha Khan) who was abandoned by her husband Sarosh (Mohammad Ali) while she was pregnant with her first child Sehar (Ezzah Zulfiqar).While Shiza was learning to live with the tragedy of divorce, another tragedy struck her life in the form of a Thalassemia child, Sehar. The drama, realistically, depicts difficulties and troubles of upbringing children suffering from fatal diseases like Thalassemia. How their parents have to go through the unexpected, just to save the lives of their children.

Here’s why you should definitely watch this emotional saga online if you missed it while it was being broadcasted on TV:

1 Aisha Khan’s last drama

Meri Nanhi Pari was Ayesha Khan’s last outing as an actor. She played the mother of the Thalassemia child with such intensity that would actually leave you in tears. She fought every hurdle that came her way with adamant resolve until she got her daughter treated from the life-threatening illness.

2.Awareness of Thalassemia

The drama makes the audience aware of the treatment of Thalassemia. If a Thalassemia patient gets matching bone marrow, the fatal disease can be treated. However, finding the matching bone marrow is a very difficult task and takes years.

3.Humans realise their mistakes overtime

It shows how humans realize their mistakes over time and try to rectify them. Sarosh divorced Shiza after a few months of their marriage and settled abroad. After 10 long years, he realized his blunder and left no stone unturned in apologizing for his mistake. He also got his daughter treated.

4. People who worship money are heartless

Some people are worshippers of money. It is very easy to buy them by filling their pockets with money. Shiza’s second husband, Khalid (played by Gohar Rasheed), portrayed a heartless man who was negligent of his responsibilities as a father and a husband. The only time he would do something was when you bribe to fill his pockets. He neither helped nor supported his wife in getting her daughter treated from the dreadful disease.

We definitely need more dramas like Meri Nanhi Pari in order to create awareness in the society about fatal diseases and their treatment and also to boost the strength of those parents who are raising children suffering from such diseases.

“Apna ghar khud sambhalo” – When parents throw their married daughters under the bus

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Recently, a discussion was going on at a relative’s house amongst some aunties and uncles regarding parents’ support to their daughters after marriage, and its consequences. Unsurprisingly, most of them were of the view that a girl can never become a successful homemaker if her parents keep backing her after her marriage.

They were of the view that parents should never assist their daughter after getting her hitched. No matter what the circumstances she goes through, they should push her to compromise as if she has no other option left. Some of the ladies were proudly narrating such instances from their own lives, where they went to seek help from their fathers but they turned them down and sent them back home with their husbands.

They believed this is why they are still with their husbands. If their fathers would have supported them then, they would have taken solace in their parents’ house and would have been divorced by now. The gist of the whole discussion was that parents’ support to girls after marriage ruins their lives and leads to their divorce.

I was a silent listener and spectator to this discussion. Since they were all my elders, I didn’t consider it appropriate to interfere and put forward my point of view in the discussion. Hence, I thought of writing this blog.

“Apparently it is the 21st century, but if truth be told, we are still living in the Stone Age,” I had thought then.

Let me clarify first that by parent’s support to their daughters after marriage I do not mean financial or monetary support, I mean moral and emotional support in tough and sturdy times. There should always be assurance to women by their parents that they are not bound to deal with a problematic marriage by hook or by crook, and can opt for a way out if things go out of control.

Marriage is a sacred bond and should be preserved in all possible ways, but at times the situation becomes uncontrollable and girls need to seek support from their parents. For instance, if a girl is physically or emotionally abused by her spouse and tells her parents about the horrors of her married life, they should not direct her to continue living with her abuser as if she has no other option.

At times men are engaged in activities they do not reveal prior to marriage, like drinking, gambling, dating other girls, and so on. After marriage, their wives discover these secrets and the only shoulder they get to rely on is their parents. In such cases, parents should not advise their daughters to learn to live with it and deem it their destined fate.

I queried a few of my friends while working on this blog to gather their viewpoints and thoughts on this topic.

“Parents should never support their daughters financially after marriage, but they should always back their daughters emotionally when they are in genuine need,” said Aisha Huzaifa, a married woman. She added, “At times girls play the victim while they are the real culprit. This is why parents should be sure of the situation before lending support to them.”

“Parents should always stand by their daughters, and shouldn’t weigh their daughter’s worth by the success of their marriage,” said Aruba Adil, an unmarried working woman.

Another married friend of mine says parents should always support their daughters post-marriage by all means, as they have more wisdom and experience and can guide their daughters through their advice.

“Daughters always need parents’ support emotionally, and it doesn’t ruin anybody’s life, neither their daughter’s nor of anybody else connected to her,” said Sadiya Samson, a married working woman and a very close friend of mine.

I was quite relieved after coming across these opinions because it is not just me who thinks otherwise, since most girls in my circle hold the same opinion as mine.

I have witnessed married girls going through a lot of hardships on their own and still not opting for a divorce. They know they can’t seek help from their parents, as they will turn them down due to their so-called respect in society. Ultimately, such girls fall prey to low self-esteem, depression, hypertension and other mental illnesses. This is where parents are wrong, because they are making their daughter’s suffer at the cost of their izzat (honour) in the society.

I do agree that there are situations when parents are to be blamed for aggravating problems in their daughter’s life, but that’s not always the case. There are parents who cross all limits in their so-called love for their daughters, and teach them to never compromise or give up on anything after getting married. This kind of unfair support is also not right and will eventually lead to break ups.

When looking at financial and monetary support from parents though, there are certain boundaries. I believe girls should avoid this kind of support as much as possible after marriage. They should either rely on their husband’s income or earn themselves, in case their husbands have low income sources. Taking money as gifts, or on occasions like Eid as Eidi is fine, but relying on your parents to make ends meet is not fair. However, if any tragedy or mishap occurs causing some major loss to their daughter or her husband, then parents should go ahead and help her monetarily as well, and the girl should not feel ashamed in taking such help.

Sadly, in this society there is always a distance that develops between parents and their daughters after they are married. I have even witnessed that some married girls are not even allowed to visit their parent’s house as per their will. They are either allowed to see their parents on occasions or on days decided by their in-laws. Some are not even allowed to stay for a sleepover at the very house they were raised in.

It is wrongly believed that the more she stays at her house, the more she will become negligent of her in-laws and her household duties. This is also something that bugs me a lot. After marriage, there are times when girls need a little break from the hassles of routine responsibilities and wish to take some rest. A girl should be allowed to spend as much time with her family as she wants; there is nothing wrong with letting her have some peaceful ‘me’ time, it will not lead to her ruining her life.

In a nutshell, the traditional concept that parents’ support to daughters after marriage destroys their lives and leads to high divorce rate is a flawed one, or you can say that it applies no more. Parents must back their daughters if they are caught in an abusive or miserable relationship, and help them with a way out without making them feel bad about their situation.

Originally published on Express Tribune Blogs.

Quick & Easy Iftar Recipe: TAWA PIZZA SANDWICH

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In Ramadan, usually we are on the look- out for quick and easy recipes that do not require much effort and also taste good.

Being a pizza lover, I like making it often in ordinary days but in Ramadan it gets very tiring, hence I hunt for recipes that gives my taste buds flavors of pizza and are also easy to prepare.

I am sharing one such tried and tested yummylicious recipe of Tawa Pizza Sandwich here. Believe me you all will love it when served fresh and hot at the time of Iftar.

Ingredients:

Bread

Boiled chicken (shredded)

Mozarella cheese (shredded)

Pizza Sauce

Butter

Onions (chopped)

Capsicum (chopped)

Tomatoes (chopped)

Oregano

Red chilli flakes

Black pepper

Salt

Method:

  1.  First of all, boil chicken preferably boneless. While boiling add 1 tablespoon Chicken Tikka or Tandoori Masala.
  2. Once the chicken is boiled, shred it and keep it aside.
  3. Take two bread slices. On one side of the bread, spread some butter.
  4. On the other side of the same bread, apply some mayonnaise.
  5. Place some chopped onions, shredded mozzarella cheese, chopped capsicums, chopped tomatoes and shredded chicken. (You can add any other topping of your choice like olives and mushrooms as well)
  6.  Sprinkle a little salt, red chilli flakes, black pepper and oregano on the stuff you just placed.
  7.  Now cover your sandwich with the second bread slice. But before that apply pizza sauce on one side of the second bread and butter on the other side.
  8. Heat Tawa (griddle) on high flame.
  9. Lower the heat and place the sandwich on the Tawa (griddle) and cover it with a glass lid.
  10. When one side turns golden brown, turn it with a spatula.
  11. Your sandwich is ready to eat once both sides turn golden brown.
  12.  Serve it hot with chilli garlic sauce and french fries.

Grill these sandwiches just half an hour before iftar time so that you can relish its taste to the fullest. Believe me once you make your kids taste these sandwiches, they will keep wanting more.

Stay tuned for more quick and easy recipes!

Originally published on Andaz Daily

No Bollywood! Brace yourselves to watch only Lollywood this Eid!

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This year the Federal Government has imposed a timely restriction on the screening of Bollywood films during and around Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Azha. The move was made in order to strengthen and empower the local productions. Well, no worries. Our very own film makers have a huge stock of films piled up for us to watch this Eid. Pakistani cinema has come up with at least four films all scheduled to be released on Eid-ul-Fitr.

Let me enlighten you a little about all four of them, so that you are in a better position to decide which one you would like to book your tickets for.

1.Azaadi

Directed by Imran Malik, Azaadi is all about Kashmir issue and fight for freedom of Disputed Kashmir. The film stars renowned actors Sonya Hussain, Moammar Rana and Nadeem Baig in lead roles and has been shot by Australian cinematographer Ben Jasper who had also shot Bollywood flick Bang Bang. If you wish to incite the feeling of patriotism in you, this movie would work perfect for you.

2.Saat Din Mohabbat In

This Mahira Khan starrer is predicted to break all business records of the year. Produced by Dawn Films, Saat Din Mohabbat In is a romantic-cum-comedy film. Directed by Meenu Farjad, this flick also stars Sheheryar Munawwar in a lead role alongside Mahira. Mahira’s star power is definitely going to give tough competition to other films. Let’s see who wins the box office race.

3.Wajood

Javed Sheikh has made a come-back to film direction with Wajood after around 10 years. The film features Danish Taimoor, Saeeda Imtiaz and Indian actor Aditi Singh as leading cast members. Though the trailer of the film failed to impress the audiences, let’s see what the original product has to offer. If you are a Danish Taimoor fan and want to watch romantic thriller sort of movie, Wajood will definitely appeal to you.

4.Na Band Na Baraati

This family comedy was earlier scheduled to be released in July but the makers of the film have now announced to release it on Eid itself. Produced by Zashko Entertainment, the film casts some of the big names of showbiz industry like Qavi Khan, Atiqa Odho, Mikaal Zulfiqar, Ali Kazmi and many others.

I hope you are now in a better position to decide which movie you should go for. Don’t forget to book your tickets beforehand as all cinemas will be jam-packed for first three days of Eid.

Let’s say No to Bollywood and Yes to Lollywood, at least for this Eid!

Originally published at Andaz Daily